Lies that we believe
Can sometimes be more harmful
Than what we may think.
We all lie for different reasons, for different people, for different things. One may lie to get out of unwanted situations. I remember lying to my friends, telling them that I cannot go out with them because my parents didn’t give me permission to go out when in fact I just did not ask them. Maybe if I had asked they would have allowed me to go out but I didn’t ask just because I didn’t want to go out, not with them anyway.
Mothers lie to their children to stop their unending questions like Mom, why is the sky blue? This is just one silly example. When I have my nephews over at my house, all I hear is Why is this like this? Why? Why not like that? Try watching a movie with them and you’ll get all sorts of questions. One day, my cousins and I went for a movie and one of my cousins brought her seven and eleven-year-olds with her. We were watching the latest Bollywood (the film industry in India) movie starring one of the most popular Bollywood actors, Salman Khan. It was a different movie from the action movies that the actor was used to. It was a very emotional and touching movie. Fortunately, or unfortunately, each of my nephews sat on either side of me. Throughout the movie, my seven-year-old nephew, Lakshya, asked me questions. At the start of every Bollywood movie, there are animations, which, are not related to the movie but to the logo of the production houses and on seeing one of the animated logos, Lakshya was amazed.
Wow, aunt, that’s so cool. Can you make this on your smartphone? My uncle, Cho showed me how to make this? Can you?
I don’t know if I can make it. It is difficult. I’ll show you later okay? Now let’s watch the movie.
A little while later, there was a song sequence. And the song was very entertaining. It was about “chicken”. And at once, my nephew started asking questions, again.
Aunt, Why is this man dancing?
Thinking that his bank of questions was over, I focused my attention on the movie, which was getting more and more interesting. At one point, the scene became very emotional and tears were overflowing my eyes. I heard a snicker on my left side. Lakshya was openly laughing without even bothering about disturbing others.
Aunt, you are crying. Why are you crying? Oh look, Mother too is crying. But I don’t cry because boys don’t cry. Only girls cry. Oh, Yuvi also is crying.
Yuvi is Lakshya’ s elder brother.
“Look, aunt, Yuvi is crying like a girl.”
Throughout the movie, my seven-year-old nephew asked me more such questions. Why is the man doing that? What happened? Why is the man running? I was irritated and annoyed. At the beginning, I answered his questions truthfully but after a while, I started fibbing. Despite the fact that asking questions is good for the young ones’ development, it can sometimes be painful to bear. Hence, we lie to save us from more questions.
The most harmful and most frequently told lies though are those we tell ourselves. People wanting to lose weight always try to find excuses to maintain their diet.
Eating between meals is not going to make me gain weight. Eating one piece of cake is not going to make me fat. I can miss yoga class today, I’ll go tomorrow. And, before they know it, this habit of eating between meals, or missing yoga classes just become a recurring thing and they continue gaining weight instead of losing.
I don’t think that we lie because we do not want to improve but instead, we lie because we are afraid to let go. We are afraid of being hurt or not being able to live up to our expectations, or not achieving the results that we dreamt. We prefer to stay in toxic relationships with food, people and things, a behaviour, which is not rational at all. We accept to be in a place, which we don’t like, where we are not respected, where we are taken for granted or where we get hurt. But, we are afraid of changing it. Of course, it is impossible for people to be rational about their feelings, emotions and actions. Nevertheless, we can be truthful about ourselves, we can accept being hurt now rather than being hurt for the rest of our life.
Again, it is a choice that we have, to listen to the lies that we tell ourselves and stay in that surreal bubble or to do what is the best thing for us to do to stop hurting. Both of them are fine, but we have to choose the one that we want for us. Sometimes accepting that we are going to be hurt is the natural thing to do, and sometimes hurting others to protect ourselves now rather than relegating it to the future is what is best.
Therefore, I think that lies that we tell and believe are just excuses which we make to convince others and mostly ourselves what we want to believe and what we want to happen.